november 11 2024

i wasnt going to actually mention this (the possible plurality) anywhere bc of me not being 100% sure but visualizing these points kind of helped me organize them.
honestly the biggest thing thats making me think its all in my head (badum tish) is the fact they really dont feel like wholly separate people who just happen to live in my head. they're separate enough for me to consider them possibly being alters but they're not fully realized people. theres also the fact that the personalities feel kind of... performative??? sometimes???? like they're not actually like that and im just making them act like that for. some reason. like its just one guy whos making an act of having different personalities talk in his head. but sometimes it isnt. idk.
my brain goes really fast with its thoughts sometimes too, so things will happen in split seconds. when i then try to dissect what just happened and visualize it into something that makes sense, it feels 'fake' and performative and not what was actually thought. well i wouldnt have to do this if your thoughts didnt happen in A MILLISECOND!!!!! thanks asshole (my brain).
so whatever. i hope to god im just being delusional and just seeing things that arent actually there. or something.

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